What Has Taken Up So Much Of My Time

I know that I have not been posting as much these last couple of weeks. I have been busy figuring out what materials to get with our funds from our charter school. I finally have my list and even have it turned in to our Education Specialist (ES). So, that is finally done, one less stress!

After I figured out what materials to get, I then had to sit down and figure out our basic day to day home school schedule. Okay, I didn't have to but I find that I am more organized if I have a basic schedule written down. I did it so that the book work will be done in the morning and funner things and special classes and activities will be after lunch.

The schedule is done. The schedule also had to be flexible, if we decide to do a field trip to the zoo we need to be able to do that! And if we are babysitting, no problem, if the kids are old enough they join us in school. If they are not old enough they play while we do school, granted we do less formal work that day.

But this is one of the things that I enjoy the most about homeschooling, besides being with my kids, is the flexibility!

Mia took her assessment test a couple days ago for the charter school, all kids 2nd grade and up take the assessment test at the beginning of the year and at the end of the year. The test scores will help me see what I need to work on with the girls.

I already know that we need to work on Math. We just got our new Math program and I think that it will be much better for the girls learning types. Last years Math program did not mesh well with the girls' learning styles.

They are more like me--hand on learners and visual. None of do well in the lecturing scenario. I know that for myself when someone starts talking and there is nothing for me to do, I fade out to another place and time! The girls are a lot like this. Our new Math program looks to be more interactive.

We also got our new Spelling Program and Handwriting programs already. We will stick with Hooked On Phonics for reading as the girls are doing well with this program. We will be starting Level 3!

Starting in October both girls will be participating in an art class given through the Riverside Art Museum. They will both also be taking a Ballet/Tap dance class as well as a Hip Hop dance class!

School officially starts on Monday the 25th. We are so excited to get started again and excited to start all our new programs. Now we'll just have to wait for the rest of our materials to get here.

Organizing The House!

Okay, so I'm blaming this sudden obsessive need to get organized on a few people! Come on, you know that my moods are never my fault. Right? :) I'm blaming Michelle for making her place look so cute, my brother Kent who is planning to come out and visit us sometime in the next couple of months (he's bringing his pretty serious girlfriend out to meet us), and the new matienece guy for finally getting the leak in our kitchen sink fixed after a month (I can now start putting things away).

Anyway, I made up a schedule of when I want each room/space completely clean, deep cleaned and organized. It's a bit lofty of a goal--but I need to be prepared for whenever Kent and Angela are coming out, the soonest would be the end of May and the latest would be the end of July! Thanks a lot little brother for causing me all this extra stress! :)

Schedule of events in the cleaning marathon:

Living Room completed by April 23

Kitchen completed April 30

The Girls Bedroom completed May 7

Mine and Erik's Bedroom completed May 14

Both Bathrooms completed May 16

Home school Stuff completed May 20

Craft supplies completed May 22

Don't forget that I am also trying to lose about 70 pounds or so, home school the girls, and everything else that goes into running a house! Maybe I'm crazy, okay, no maybe about it. But I will succeed! It's just like anything else, 80% mental and 20% physical. Right? I think I can. I think I can. . . .

I am also weighing my options between having a web store on EBay or on Etsy. It is basically boiling down to the fact that an EBay store can have anything in it but it costs more money, while an Etsy store only allows handmade products but it costs less. I still have a few months to figure it all out. I want to have my web store up an running by July 2. Hence another reason for my crazy schedule, I need my house clean and organized so that I can spend time crafting projects that I can then sell. Make sure to check back for the grand opening update when that happens, in July!

Now it all has to happen because I have let the world know. I am conceited to think that the whole world reads and cares about my little blog but, I have to think that way because then I can't fail in front of everyone!

Went To The Cardiologist

Okay, I had my checkup at the cardiologist on March 25th. Yep over a week ago and I can just now talk about it without losing it. So here's the results, not good, but not life threatening either. Just upsetting to me.

The day started out horrible, I was still sick with that congestion head cold thing, and had lost my voice because of it. I had just started my cycle, and since the heart surgery my cycle's have been longer and more painful, and I was bloated on top of that and PMSing, BIG TIME! And I had a start of a migraine. If I hadn't already had to reschedule this appointment I would have called and cancelled. But, I went.

First off my blood pressure was slightly elevated, so little in fact that if I was a normal person they wouldn't even blink an eye at it. But because of the heart surgery, they are freaking out! So, they upped my blood pressure medication, so now I take 50mg of a medicine that makes me tired, and I thought that I was having problems getting everything done before!

Keep in mind that I am emotional and hormonally at my limit, logic is not a strong point if mine on a good day, I tend to act and think emotionally. Hey, I am a woman! Anyway, the doctor says something like, "Hey, you know if you lost a little weight, it would probably help get your blood pressure under control." But what do I hear? "Hey, you fat hog if you just got up off your lazy butt we wouldn't have to up your medication." I told you, I'm emotional.

I am not stupid, I know that I need to lose weight, at the doctor's office I weighed 218. The most I have ever weighed! Even more than I weighed when I was pregnant, both times. So, I already feel like a loser.

I want to get down to 150, I was 12 pounds away before my surgery. Then I had the second surgery, and physically I recovered faster this time but emotionally, well let's just say I am still dealing with that part of the recovery.

After surgery I got so depressed, mostly about all the things I would be giving up forever. I think that I could have dealt with almost everything that I have had to give up but, I am still having problems, even some days now, that I will no longer be able to have children. Me the one who has always wanted to have a house full of kids, can no longer have any more.

So, how did I deal with my depression? I ate and shopped my way into oblivion. Not the logical choices for someone who is trying to lose weight and who's family is working so hard to get out of debt! So where does this leave me? At the heaviest weight I have ever been and still not out of debt.

Anyway, back to the doctor's, after I heard him tell me I should lose weight I was devastated. All I wanted to do was go home and curl up with a tub of ice cream or some chocolate and have a pity party for myself and then go shopping. I wanted to just cry and yell and blame someone for what I was going through. I don't cry in front of people, so I didn't cry at the doctor's, and I had the girls with me so waited until we got in the car and I was driving home before I let the tears fall, praying the whole time that the girls would keep themselves entertained so I didn't have to let them see me cry.

This time though, I was able to see that I was trying to drown my feeling with food and shopping and I resisted the urge and I went home. Erik was still there and I was able to cry on his shoulder and yell and scream and get it all out emotionally.

So, now I am on a mission, a mission that I have to tell everyone so I can be accountable. I am going to lose the 60 pounds by the end of the year! I will be 150 pounds, I will be able to decrease my medicine, and I will be thankful for everything I do have. When a blue day hits I will look at what I do have and be grateful. I will be fit and healthy, I will have a wonderful family, and we will be out of debt. (As of this morning I weigh 214. Go me! Go me!)

This time I am mad and determined enough to do it. For anyone who knows me, the best way to get me to do something is to tell me that I can't or to tell me something that I already know in a "you're so stupid, Marci" kind of way. So, even though the doctor didn't say the things the way that I heard them, it upset me enough, that I am going to do this to show him!

Not the best attitude to have and this is a quality that I have always had and it's something that I have to work on. Unfortunately, I sometimes see this same quality in my girls and I want to scream. How did my mom ever put up with me?! I'm sorry mom and dad for everything I ever put you through!!